blank...

a blank page is always daunting.. it stares at u with its blank eyes..
it's like trying to fill an empty box... ur intention is to neatly stack items so that the arrangement is aesthetically pleasing, but what u end up doing is just chaotically dumping everything in...

it becomes one big, indistinguishable pile of crap...

lately, i sit down to type and i stare at the blank page and my mind becomes a reflection of it... blank

of course, i could always just awoiehgaiejb2813479186t893ygofihdjknvmc ... mind vomit.

back to the drawing board..

goodnight and good morning.

kids and other influences...

i have a 2nd cousin.. my cousin's daughter... N
in yellow terms, she's called my niece..

she's a giggler, silly, very resilient (for a 6yr old)... rarely whines (c'mon, what 6yr old doesn't?)...
she's just a great kid...
has manners (when she remembers too),
is considerate of others,
she has this energy that knows no bounds,
and there's a quiet (occasionally not so quiet) determination that will give rise to something great one day..

my cousin, who is more like my sister, raised a wonderful child..
our tainted up-bringing gave her the tools necessary to give N a loving, psychosis-free home..

i, on the other hand, am unable to promise that i could give my child the same, if i were to have a child..
keyword: if

goodnight and good morning..

nobody there..

wow, it's been nearly 5 years since my last post..

alot, ALOT, has happened.. SO much that i can't even remember where or when to begin..

my head is a jumbled mess... much like the attic of an old lady living with 20 feral cats..

but the past is just that, in the PAST... must move forward..

which, somehow, brings me here... it's ironic, i know..

blogging is such a thing of the past, u say~

and if i'm to move forward, why am i back to this, u ask~

because, i feel like i'm losing my mind.. no, really..

i find myself repeatedly asking myself what day of the week it is... over the coarse of one day...

pausing for a moment, searching for the answer...

and then reassuring myself that it's sunday, as if i knew all along...

oh wait, no, it's monday... definitely monday..

and the solution to my problem? back to blogging..

why not scribble into a journal?

or the plethora of social media for that matter..

because, somehow, typing is soothing.. easier to edit, go back and clarify one's thoughts.. the quiet tappity, tap, tap... delete, delete... tap tap tap...

as for social media, it has its uses... but i don't need to remind my friends on a daily basis that i'm not all there...

so, there it is.. i'm back..

for how long? who knows...

goodnight.. and good morning..

it's a quake~!

i felt the earthquake shortly past 1:30am this morning...
twice..
i thought i was imagining things..

sometimes nature gives me hope that i'm not as crazy as i make myself out to be..

pineapples v my stomach

i've never had a problem with indigestion, especially when it came to any one particular food..
except maybe cocktail shrimp, but that's because i would consciously overdo it and eat a whole bowl that's meant for 2-3 people..

onions, especially white onions, blehck... have caused my gag reflex to react,
but other than that, i've been able to enjoy many delicious dishes...
no aversion to spicy, cheesy, fruity, or even unrecognizable...

until yesterday, when my stomach had it out with the pineapple...
i didn't go overboard... it was just a couple of pieces when i returned home after work...
relaxing in front of the tv for a bit...
and then slowly, but surely, my stomach begins its jihad against the pineapple infidels upon the battlefield which is my body...

1 offering to the white porcelain god and 1.5 agonizing hours later, i'm still in the fetal position,
but i'm still breathing...
wondering when i'll have my next pineapple...

patient driving...

now there's an oxymoron~
R frequently asks me how i can be so patient in almost all other situations except when i'm driving..
whereas, he is the most easy-going driver i know, next to my father..

why is it that whenever it rains, drivers near and far behave as if it's the first time they've seen water fall from the sky and, from what i gather can be the only reason why this happens so often, they then try to swerve away from the rain..
which, if one thinks about it, is ridiculously impossible... right????
yet~!!!! yet...
yet, we see accident after accident after vehicular wreck spilled over on the side of the roads..

and their so-called "accident" slows down traffic even further than the rain ever did in the first place ! ! !

arrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

my patience is for things that are beyond my control...
like ignorant jerks that insist that i'm chinese and i need to go back to my country...
or
like when my wireless network goes down for no logical reason and won't come back up no matter what i do..

as much as that last scenario might really freak some people out, that seems like heaven compared to the driving skills, or the lack thereof, of half the city...

why? because in each situation i can just walk away from that particular asinine individual or impossible situation...
but driving... one does not drive alone in this land of highways and biways..
*grrrrrr...*
*sigh*

she won~!!!

to commemorate my unofficial and, no doubt, uneventful return to the blogging world,
i write a little bit about someone else, other than myself... =P

my little sista, a.k.a. zoe, won~
she entered into this fashion competition, and won~!
of course, it's pretty much all greek to me,
considering that 99% of the clothes produced in the fashion industry are not designed with my body type in mind...
ok, that may be overstating it, but those of u who kno wut i mean, kno wut i mean...

anyways, she won and i'm absolutely ecstatic for her..
not because of the fact that she's really good at what she does and has been obsessive about all things fashion ever since i knew her when we were wee little children...

but because she deserves it... she really does..
so, here's to u, zoe...
salut, cheers, and 건배~