to know...

there are some people out there..
or perhaps just one close by...

that upon first meeting, a silent connection is made...
no greeting is necessary...
as if u've known each other for a very long time...
and were only waiting for the moment to finally meet...
words of recognition or confirmation are meaningless...

a relationship where telapathy is real...
words are only used when required...
such precious breathe is not wasted on words..

all knowledge is acquired thru action..
nothing is assumed..
a connection where everything is already known...

i've known such a person since birth..
and that very same person knew me from before i was born...
he knows me still to this very day...
he knows me... and i know him... we are truly kindred spirit..

i suppose it's unusual to speak of one's father in this fashion...
but i cannot hide that which is true..

now that i'm married... i think back on my image of that "dream" husband..
and somehow i thought it would be someone who knew me so well that it would truly be,
that our eyes would be the windows to our souls..
and noone else but the both of us would "know"...

maybe someday..

three things in human life are important:

the first is to be kind;

the second is to be kind;

and the third is to be kind.

henry james (1843 - 1916)

the sad part is that i learned of this quote thru csi...

i swear to jeebus i be livin in the dark...
damn...

r.i.p. russell jones

ol dirty bastard, aka russell jones, member of wu-tang clan cashes his chips in one day before his birthday...
he was kinda the odd man out, the monkey of the group...
literally jumpin around like one...
the press called him erratic and unexplainable...
he was just being himself.... ol and dirty and a bastard....
he shall be missed...

newspaper headline: more cia officials consider quitting...
no big surprise...
the cia is an easy scapegoat when it comes to foreign affairs...

and now, director portor goss isn't in a pretty position..
on top of which his top aide, patrick murray, isn't playing nice with the other children..

but that's okay...
one of the candidates considered as a replacement is *ta-da* richard lawless..
a former cia ops officer who is currently deputy assistant secretary of defense for asian and pacific affairs
but that's not the kicker...no...
according to the article in the seattle times, after lawless left the cia he set up a consulting firm that did business in asia...
shortly after, who does he meet, but jeb bush...
yup... good 'ol jeb from florida... who at the time of meeting lawless was florida's secretary of commerce seeking business in asia....

yeah... it all comes back to bullsh... oops.. bush...
one big happy ignorant bred oil lovin american family...

jeebus help america...

u know...
if u say "bush" really fast it sounds like bullshit...coincidence??
i don't think so...

here's to another 4 years of wishing i could deny that george w jackass is the president of the country i call home..

i was at my parents house for a few nights... (few = 2)
stayed the extra night so i could go vote today...
it was a family affair.. the three of us voting along side each other..
it was the first time we ever voted together...
we were also virgins to the chad system...
bizarre little things...

excited to find out who will win...
more exciting than waiting for lotto numbers...

back at my parents home...
it's funny... this used to be "my" home not too long ago..
now, it's ... not.
my old room feels bare.. and a bit foreign..
even the stuff i left behind looks awkwardly out of place...
almost as if they don't belong to me anymore..
as if they were once a part of a life that time has no record of......

underneath all the cooking (a skill which i'm still working on...), cleaning, and running a business..
i'm still here.. surprisingly in one piece...
slowly but surely i'm slipping into the role of "korean wife"...
it's rocky territory, but i'm into a good challenge...

the wedding went off without a hitch...
well, the cake fell over...
but it was hours before the wedding and albertsons was kind enough to redo the two top tiers...

..............it's been about 80 hours since we said "i do.."
and the identity of "wife" still hasn't set in..
but i guess that'll come with time...
at least he doesn't snore or grind his teeth...
i'm also grateful for my in-laws...
they're great down-to-earth people who are respectful but not over-the-top traditional... very understanding individuals...
then again, knowing their son, they've got to be understanding..

tryin to keep my head above water...
no bridesmaids, no best men, no frills..
if i had it my way, it'd be me, him, our parents, and a priest on some far away beach...
but no...
they want to invite people and make tons of food...

*sigh*
sometimes being busy can make u so exhausted, all u can do is cry...
and sometimes being busy just makes u laugh...
in a sanity-questionable-i-belong-in-an-asylum kind of way...

drove to seattle...
thru rain and wind...
picked out rings and watches...
i'm so glad i'm not excessively picky...
but he's more glad...

oh yeah... for those that are wandering in darkness,
i'm gettin hitched...

d-day: october 2, 2004

well... it's 9-eleven... again...
and again we remember horrid images of deeds of misguided men...
at the same time, i'm moved to the realization that inconceivable acts of violence happen everyday, every second somewhere in the world...

may those victims find solace in the fact that their loved ones will always remember them..
and may we also take a moment for those who unwillingly remain unknown..
rest in peace...

one of the things i love best is...
a quiet house...
which can only be done when i'm home alone......

i have learned silence from the talkative,
toleration from the intolerant,
and kindness from the unkind;
yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.

- kahlil gibran

ok... so i haven't blogged in awhile... i know..
alot has been going on... for those of u who know.. know..
but it hasn't been easy..
let's just say that sometimes... just sometimes..
i hate being so understanding..
this open perspective of empathy...
it's really very... absolutely fucking tiring...

with great power comes great responsibility

i like questionnaires...
they shed light on dark corners..
and give way to more questions..

21 questions

1) grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4:
"what do you suppose he can want now?"
ayn rand - the fountainhead

2) stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first?
halogen lamp

3) what is the last thing you watched on TV?
csi:miami

4) without looking, guess what the time is?
2:30am

5) now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
2:45am

6) with the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
music from my headphones

7) when did you last step outside? what were you doing?
midnight ice cream run with my cousin..

8) before you came to this website, what did you look at?
old pictures

9) what are you wearing?
jammies

10) did you dream last night?
i dream every night..

11) when did you last laugh?
earlier, looking at pictures..

12) seen anything weird lately?
depends on what would constitute as weird..
there is always something weird in my house..

13) last movie you saw?
secondhand lions...

14) if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
pay off my parent's house..

15) tell me something about you that i don't know:
i actually enjoy walking, even though i fuss about it..

16) if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
i'd get rid of money..

17) do you like to dance?
who doesn't? even people without rhythm like to dance..

18) george bush:
jackass.. need i say more?

19) imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
a name that shares meaning with the moon..

20) [same question for a boy]
a name that shares meaning with the sun..

21) Would you ever consider living abroad?
hmmm.. i guess so...
i'd have difficulty living somewhere without running water and toilets..

a few days ago a person who i consider my twin soul was in a terrible car accident..
by the looks of her car, they say she shouldn't have survived..
but she did..

for this, i am angry..
for this, i am sad..
for this, i am relieved..
for this, i am grateful..

for this, i love her more..

i know...
there are pictures where i really don't look good at all..
but i keep them anyway..
i try to keep every single picture..
good or bad..
even those with people who i no longer associate with and, in some cases, don't remember their names..
or even those with people i don't like..

i keep them anyway...

bourne again shell (bash)
bourne (sh)
korn (ksh)
c shell (csh)
by the seashore...
welcome to intro to unix...

the first few weeks of an intro class to any geek subject is always a bit tedious... =P

maybe i should get a taxi license (or whatever the correct term)...
and double-tape a meter to the dashboard..
cuz i have been doing way too much driving lately...
they need to develop that star trek transporter thing soon..
either that or i'm gonna start charging people... cha-ching!!

i cannot believe this...
well, actually i can..
but tickets for michael moore's fahrenheit 9/11 are sold out thru monday the 28th..
although that's just at my local theatre,
i'm fairly sure that that is a reflection of other theatres across the nation..