clementine: joel, i'm not a concept. too many guys think i'm a concept or i complete them or i'm going to make them alive, but i'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. don't assign me yours.

- eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

"how happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
the world forgetting, by the world forgot.
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;"

- excerpt from eloisa to abelard by alexander pope

a wonderful movie...
for the first time in a long time, whether we admit it or not, the relationships portrayed in this movie were real...
they weren't the glamorous, park avenue, rodeo drive, i-only-wear-versace sparkling successful people..
they were dirty and awkward... they were human...
thank you mr kaufman...

and the more i try to remember everything about the movie,
the more it triggers memories, ideas, and feelings about myself and my life...

go and watch it, if u haven't...
and if you haven't read the synopsis... don't.... just watch it...

"blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders..."

- beyond good and evil by friedrich wilhelm nietzsche

first it rained for 2 weeks straight...
then the butt rockets are out and about
and we just can't get enough of this sun
that blocks my view of the neighbor kids playing in my circle
which gives me an excuse to run them over with my car... =P

it's march already, papers & exams galore,
with a plethora of finals next week,
add to that, taxes are due..

dude, spring is just not my season...

99% of the people in my life are computer illiterate..
so i am their makeshift tech support..
at first i thot this was due to the fact that i don't charge them..

at the same time, i was glad cuz i believed they acknowledged and accepted my choice
to take a path other than med school..
and i try to be as friendly and open as possible...
explaining things in non-computer terms...and all sorts of ridiculous analogies, including cooking..

not to say that i talk down to them,
(cuz i realize i am no computer expert...
i'm more of a bridge connecting them to more experienced nerds who speak in binary code..)
i understand that they can be seen as complicated pieces of machinary..

but often times my frustration stems from people who won't even try to understand the answer...
after i'm done with my well-thought-out explanations (sometimes they're not even that patient..),
they repeat the question.... this time with fervor...
in the end i feel as if i relived the same 5 minutes over and over again...
therefore, they're not even questions...
they're actually complaints with question marks...

the more irritating folks give way to a strong desire to yell,
"yeah? well, maybe it's not ur box, maybe it was ur pea brain that let in that virus.... u don't open credit card solicitations from the mailbox, but yet u just can't resist the urge to double-click on that e-mail with the subject line: bulk cheap viagra!!..."
then i want to rescue their towers from their abusive environments.. not to mention poor ventilation..

after some breathing exercises, i try to think of alternate theories...
maybe they aren't calling me becuz they really want to know the answer to their "questions"..
but rather, they just want someone who will hear their complaints..
and for once, they will get a response other than, "i don't know"..

in addition to my own theory...
i only ask that they consider the possibility that it really isn't their tower...
or the program, or the internet, or the idea "i was just minding my own business when it just froze up on me.."
maybe it's them... their lack of consideration to maintain their overpriced towers...
it's like ignoring the red oil can beaming brightly underneath their speedometer..
by jeebus, they pay an arm and a leg, god forbid they defrag once in awhile...

my hope? that one day i'll browse cnn and there will be an article:
family computer bursts into flames from lack of maintenance...